I'm not quite sure why I feel the need to take trips in the car. A hearkening back to my childhood perhaps? I can't say. Although, I have now done the Boise run so many times as an adult, it no longer seems to be the nightmare trip from hell it once was. Being stuck in a car for 8 hours with two children goes a long way to making it seem less than euphoric, however. Bless the person who developed the portable DVD player. Double bless the angel that modified such a gem into a dual deck DVD player so two different movies could be played simultaneously. And all hail whomever devised the sanctified gift of headphones. I really don't know how my parents suffered through so many years of "he's touching me...he's eating my ice cream...where are we NOW?" and all manner of similar complaints. It is a little sad that my children have never played road sign alphabet (waiting breathlessly until we got to the Blue Mountains and the coveted "Snow Zone" sign for the "z") or license plate bingo. The staples that kept me and my brother from going insane with boredom after being made carsick from reading too long in a moving vehicle up mountain roads. Back then you couldn't even get a radio station for most of the trip...no wonder my kids are candy asses!

SHSo'C got me some fabulous earrings for Christmas...you've seen 'em. I am so enamored of my gifty that they have not been out of my ears, except for very brief periods of activity where I feared losing them. I was thinking the other day that there might arise such an occasion where I would be required to wear different earrings, like say, at a wedding. *cough*Anne!*cough* What's a woman to do if she refuses to remove one of her most treasured gifts? Hey, I still have scars from where my ears were double pierced. I have a piercing stud from the last time I triple pierced my right ear. Anyone see where this is going? Anyone forget I am sometimes RETARDED? If so, refresh your memory here. Never mind that I haven't had earrings in any holes but the originals for the last 15 years or so. Never mind that I am too impatient to walk downstairs and get some ice to at least numb the skin. I mean hey, I can get the piercing stud in about 1/4 to half the way; the rest should be cake. So, I grabbed some isopropyl alcohol, doused the stud (hey! I am a nurse! Cleanliness in next to not getting a raging case of MRSA), and proceeded to cram the piercing stud into my former piercing. There were a few touch and go moments when I obviously left the original path (read: scar tissue) and ventured into virgin territory. I knew this because it hurt like a sonuvabitch. Let it be know there was a brief moment when I contemplated the wisdom of this venture, but....meh. With perseverance, and a desire for some Everclear, I was successful! Now to the next ear. Long story not so short, I am now double pierced (keep it clean!) once more. And never shall these baubles be removed. Because I plan for the skin to grow over them and become a permanent part. Like a sapling growing around a guide wire. Surgery will be a bitch; they'll have to tape my whole head. The one thing I forgot about was how uncomfortable it is to talk on the phone with one's ear double pierced. But that may be related to slowly violating the integrity of my earlobe, I'm not sure.

One last thing before I toddle off the the womb-like state of my bed: Lt. Nixon has written a short story that I think you'll enjoy. It is at turns hilarious and heartbreaking. No zombies, but some fine reading and kick ass tunes! It may also give some an insight to these brave and amazing people who walk among us. Go give it a read; you'll be glad you did.

Another nail in the coffin of professionalism

Had a lovely patient today. It was her 6th baby, this was a surprise pregnancy and surprise! It was a boy! She had a history of really fast labors and she wanted an epidural this time, just for kicks. She decided since this was her last, she would enjoy it. The doc came in and broke her water at 1 cm and I cautioned her, very strongly, that if she felt the slightest twinge, she was to call me. I came back in every 5 -10 minutes like the obsessive compulsive I am, "How are you? Anything going on I should know about?" I'm sure I was driving her crazy, but she really wanted this epidural and I really didn't want her to miss it. About 30 minutes after the doc broke her water she called out and said she was starting to get uncomfortable. So, I checked her cervix.

Me: "SHIT!"
She: "What?!?"
Me: "You're four centimeters."
She: "SHIT!"

We scurried around and got her epidural in....and then I apologized for swearing at her.

Definition of irony: Crisis day at work, nearly every room full of patients, unscheduled C-sections, a-hole anesthesiologists, not enough staff, real wrath of God type stuff and where is our union rep, who also happends to be the union president? At a meeting. On unsafe staffing. Would you care for our input on the unsafe staffing situation Madame President?

Day without Pepsi

My head around about 10 am today

So starts my first day without Pepsi. Why am I quitting Pepsi you may ask? Go ahead, I'll wait. After a long and loving relationship, I thought it was perhaps time we parted ways. I believe if you are so dependent on a beverage that you have to leave the bosom of your family on Christmas day to make a Pepsi run because you are about to run a marathon without leaving a 4 foot square area, perhaps a step back is needed. That and the fact that Pepsi has changed it's logo to an ugly ass sphere of conformity.


(h/t to Lt Nixon for the heads up on the change in the logo)
Is it moi, or does this look familiar? My grandfather thinks the current logo looks like his 8th Army patch, so I guess everyone has differing opinions on the aesthetics. I think we should just go back to the logo from the mid 1980s: simple, pure, Pepsi.




Tougher than I thought!

I could survive for 57 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

I don't like you

Yeah, well it's two way street kid! Tell your friends.

Self defense? Why would I need self defense?

This kid is bad ass!

There aren't many adults that would take on a pitbull (without a big freakin' stick), let alone a scrawny 9 year old. Meet Drew Heredia who has been taking Brazilian Jiu-jitsu for about 2 months. Drew and a 12 year old neighbor were walking with her dog when a pitbull ran out and attacked the dog. The neighbor tried to intervene to save her dog when the pitbull turned on her. That's when Drew threw down a rear naked choke hold:

He wanted to kick it, but he thought the dog would just bite his leg
Instead, he put the move on him. "He was moving really hard like
one of those rodeo bulls," Drew said. "Then he went limp." For more
than 20 minutes Drew held the panting dog until animal control officials
arrived.

Note to self: don't mess with Drew.

Happy Birthday E!

My favorite song from his 1968 Comeback Special. (Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years!) He was hotter than Spam on a hot plate.

Har.

Okay, so I need a little levity right now. SHSo'C admirably fulfilled his duties as a righteous SHSo'C by sending me this gem:



All the high points and drama condensed for the attention deficit. Which is perfect for me.

One of my new favorite sites, which I've been hiding from some of you, because, let's face it, you're not nearly as twisted as I am, is Fuck You Penguin.
It makes me laugh on a daily basis, but today was perfect. Yesterday wasn't too bad either. It may have something to do with the amount of brain cells I drowned in malt liquor from the ages of 12-21, or it may just be that I'm a deranged sociopath, but I think these are some of the funniest things I've seen animal-wise. And right now I say bring the funny. Anything new strike your bones de funne?

I'm trying to avoid my usual grieving process (retail therapy) because we all know the mack truck of retail therapy is gonna tailgate the hell out of me here pretty quick (and the hits just keep on coming!) so I'm shopping around for a new template for my blog. Which I will debut soon. (That's right, channel that into something creative...or at least a giant waste of time and not money) If I don't screw it up.