There Aren't Enough Drugs In The World

FB's bed is a wooden captain's bed.  Loft type bed with drawers underneath; you get the picture.  Being made of wood, it squeaks with every movement and it is very apparent when the boy is restless and having difficulty settling to sleep.  The other night I was downstairs and I became aware of squeaking above me.  The squeaking had a pattern...it was rhythmic, if you will.  RHYTHMIC SQUEAKING COMING FROM MY SON"S BED.  I began to hyperventilate and turned up the volume to drown out the sound of my worst nightmare. 

A few days later my mom dropped them off and said, "I walked into the bedroom last night and I don't know what FB was doing, but he was acting awful guilty." 

I will now go to my happy place and live in a state of denial for the next 10 years.