I really don't mind the quirks of getting older for the most part. I deal with the need for Metamucil with equanimity. I'm understand the supplement fest that my life has become. And I am resigned to the fact that I have enough powersurges to light up Times Square during New Year's. Okay, I get it. I understand. FINE! But what I refuse to accept is the new and disturbing anomolies in my anatomy. For instance, the other day was a busy day at work and, while I was able to stay well hydrated, I was not as able to deliver myself from said hydration once my body was done with it, if you get the way I'm drifting. So, I prudently decided to visit the loo before changing into my clothes as I was getting in near dire straits by this time. Unbeknownst to me, however, the devil's own sneeze was lurking in my sinuses for the most opportune moment (for whom?). The sneeze exploded and so did my bladder. WTF?!? I mean I've had to cross my legs before during a sneeze, but actual loss of bodily fluid? (Heh. My maiden name was Bodily, all my fluids are bodily fluids. Whoop! Whoop! Dork alert!) Needless to say, I was appalled, nay, nearly distraught! Let the Kegel marathon begin!!!
Then there is my other problem, which is a trifle more delicate ....suffice to say, I am slightly more sympathetic to Jody's plight. Insurance being what it is, I don't want to go to the doc, and besides, who wants to have that checked? I know how it's done, and it's a procedure I'd like to forego, thank you very much. So, I won't know if I have a thrombosed 'rhoid until the sucker is big enough to vote. I don't know what else it could be....what else causes you a pain in the ass that beats in time with your heart? Outside of work, I mean? It's pretty sad when you have to eat 800 of Ibuprofen like it's tic-tacs because you have a pain in your tuckus!
Such is my life.
Ohhhh your poor arse!!! Five children later....been there, done that! No need to seek a doc unless it's in the few few hours!The Rx from my doc: time heals all rhoids!
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