30 November 2008


The neighborhood as a whole, as is the custom, is in a flurry of decorating. Lights adorn eaves, wreaths are up, garlands are strung.....on nearly every house. The lone hold out being, as usual, mine. I just can't face the box of lights. The kids are howling for them like a frigid nor'easter for some unfathomable reason. Do they not remember that when I put the lights up it is always in the dark and usually raining? It could be near sub-tropic temperatures all day, but if I pull out those damn lights....voila! The steppes of Mordor!

Perhaps my lack of holiday spirit derives from the fact that Thanksgiving was Thursday and tomorrow is December. That's not right! I just need to get myself in the groove and it's going to take some high powered mojo to do it, cuz the thought of Christmas presents and baking is causing me to look up flights to Tahiti.

"4:00-wallow in self pity; 4:30-stare into the abyss." Heh.

29 November 2008


song chart memes
more music charts

Favorite Thanksgiving Episode Ever

"As God as my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly." HA!
There are those days when you feel every second of everyday. Usually after an incredibly long shift filled with incredibly stupid/obnoxious asshats. I found a site that lets you see what your age is on other planets. I'm 172 on Mercury (but a damn fine lookin' broad for her age) and only 22 on Mars. And I'm a freakin' zygote on Pluto, but since Pluto is no longer a planet, it doesn't matter. Poor Pluto. Try it here
There is an explanation of the rotation of each planet complete with mathematical equations to prove the author of the site isn't just blowing smoke up your skirts, but since I heartily eschew (look it up!) all things math it just looked like "banana, banana, banana" to me. There is also a link to your weight on other planets which is just plain nosy IMO.

I love the Stumble add on to Firefox, but as I Stumble around (literally, in some ways) I keep hitting card game sites, WTF? How can there be that many card game sites? Are there really that many games in existence?

I've got some Christmas presents I should work on, but...meh. (It's an official word now! As a sheepskin carrying English major I can now use it with impunity! Yay Simpsons!) So, this is what I've spent my time on this evening:

Hmmmm....Perc or melatonin, Perc or melatonin....

26 November 2008

I can't watch any more about Mumbai. I am on tragedy overload. So, to help with bad dreams and boogey men the world over, I give you the Swedish Chef. It made me laugh at 10 and it makes me laugh 30 years later:

I stole this from random laundry, but it was kind of fun. It's an iPod quiz. You open iTunes and do the following:

Number of songs: 512 (yes I have LOTS of free space)

Sort by song
First: ABC - The Jackson 5
Last: 3 Am - Matchbox 20

Sort by time
Shortest: 1:29 The Spanish Inquisition (ending) - Monty Python
Longest: 14:59 Voodoo Chile - Jimi Hendrix

Sort by artist
First: A-ha
Last: Various Artist from On the Mountain 8

Search by album:
First: Abrakadbra - Mikko Kuustonen
Last: Holiday - Sammy Kershaw

Search by key word
sex: 0
death: 0
love: 22
you: 52
me: 81
drugs: 0
hate: 0
search for your own name: 2 (well, derivatives of it)

Put iTunes on shuffle and name first five songs that play (no cheating to look cool!)

Hopealanka - Mikko Kuustonen
Try A Little Tenderness - The Commitments
Gimme, Gimme Shock Treatment - The Ramones
Cherry Poppin' Daddy Strut - Zoot Suit Riot
Sin Wagon - Dixie Chicks

As we can see, I didn't cheat, cuz no way does that shuffle look cool.

In other news, my insomnia kicked in with a vengeance at 0200 and I flopped around like a landed trout for 3 hours in the vain hope of regaining the sweet oblivion of dreamland. No such luck, although the dog did get to escape his imprisonment several hours early to go ravage the nocturnal rodents in the yard. Luckily I didn't have to deal with the psycho drug addict on the floor, who for some reason, despite being homeless and unemployed, thought that she could kick nurses out of her room because (and I quote) "I'm paying for it, it's mine!" Her first nurse of the day maintained great restraint in not firing back, "You're paying for it with MY money!" And this girl is not known for her great restraint.

As I sat in my super cool, nearly as smart as the Transformers car, with the remote start option that starts the engine, heating system and seat heaters, I was waxing nostalgic for my 1978 Ford Fiesta. No longer will I be called upon to scrape my windshield with any handy object like a credit card or a case to a cassette tape. I will never again have to pour several gallons of boiling water on the driver's side door to thaw it so I can enter the car, thereby freezing the latch in the open position. Which then resulted in needing to bungee cord the door to the underside of my driver's seat to keep it closed while I drove. Meaning that I had to partially sit on the bungee cord and totally forgo using seat belts. Ahhh, those were the days.

I think my bra trying to assassinate me. Not that I don't view the damn things as a nuisance anyway (but a necessary nuisance since pregnancy left me packin', so to speak, with no relief in sight no matter how much weight I lose) but I seriously believe this thing is trying to kill me. I noticed a vague irritation all day that suddenly became a sharp pain and looked down to see the majority of my under wire displaced and trying, with malice aforethought, to pierce my left breast and, therefore, my pericardium. Which would then lead to cardiac tamponade and a really bad day! Avast, ye demon under wire, off with your head! Well, at least off to the trash, I've had little sleep and even less caffeine today.

Happy Turkey Lurkey day my friends and remember only one more day to donate to Valour-IT!

19 November 2008

Music Express

Because I'm in the middle of a self-indulgent pity party and what the hell, why not?

And, of course, my girl Tina

And last, but not least, my girl with my 1985 crush Bryan Adams

It didn't cancel the pity party, but it was a fun little trip to the past anyway!
No matter how new the car/battery if you run an iPod, the DVD player, the lights and not the engine for an hour and a half straight.....the sucker will die. Luckily, there is a battery symbol that comes on at minute 93, that lets you know it has happened. Even more luckily, if you are sitting in the middle of BFE waiting on a Cub Scout meeting to finish, shut everything off, growl at your youngest offspring to just shut it about Scooby-Doo being interrupted and wait about 10 minutes, you may, by the grace of God, be able to restart the car. I think, however, if your car has enough add ons and gadgets that would allow it to do your laundry and taxes simultaneously, it should have a gentle, audible reminder. Like, say, the OnStar chick saying, "Hey, dumbass, would you like to actually make it home tonight?" See, that would work. I blame a fever induced delirium and not rank stupidity on my inability to critically think at this juncture.

17 November 2008


FB comes downstairs after school with his DS in his hand.

Me: "Did you do your homework?"
FB: *sound of crickets*
Me: "It's a yes or no question."
FB: "No."
Me: "Then give me the DS and get upstairs and do your homework."

Ten minutes later as I am helping SoS with his homework, I hear the drums from upstairs.

Me: "FB! Is your homework done?!?"
FB: "No."
Me: "Then you better get off the drums and do it!"

About 30 minutes later a friend of FB's comes to the door and asks if he can play.

Me: "Did you finish your homework?"
FB: "Um, I forgot it at school."

I now have to ask, WTF?

11 November 2008


I was at Chuck Z's today, and it seems that Valour-IT is out of money. If you've never heard of Valour-IT here is the page from Soldier's Angels that explains:

Project Valour-IT

(formerly Voice-Activated Laptops for OUR Injured Troops)
In memory of SFC William V. Ziegenfuss

It was the first time I felt whole since I’d woken up wounded in Landstuhl.
–Major Charles "Chuck" Ziegenfuss, on using a voice-controlled laptop

Project Valour-IT, in memory of SFC William V. Ziegenfuss, helps provide voice-controlled/adaptive laptop computers and other technology to support Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand wounds and other severe injuries. Technology supplied includes:

  • Voice-controlled Laptops - Operated by speaking into a microphone or using other adaptive technologies, they allow the wounded to maintain connections with the rest of the world during recovery.
  • Wii Video Game Systems - Whole-body game systems increase motivation and speed recovery when used under the guidance of physical therapists in therapy sessions.
  • Personal GPS - Handheld GPS devices build self-confidence and independence by compensating for short-term memory loss and organizational challenges related to TBI and severe PTSD.

The experience of Major Chuck Ziegenfuss, a partner in the project who suffered serious hand wounds while serving in Iraq, illustrates how important these laptops and other technologies can be to a wounded service member's recovery.

January 18th, 2006

Dear Mrs. Smith,

It was brought to my attention that your organization, Soldier's Angels, did something very special for the Marines of our Injured Support Battalion. I want to take this time and thank you so much for your contribution to make special memories for those who sacrifice so much.

Your contribution of laptops is quite above and beyond. I am grateful that you have taken time to honor our injured heroes.

I remain...

Very cool. The fund raising goal is $250,000. The bloggers representing the branches of the military are having a friendly competition to see who can reach the goal of $50,000 quickest. Chuck is part of Team Army, Greyhawk from Mudville Gazette is part of Team Air Force, Laughing Wolf from Blackfive is also part of Team Army, you get the picture. This morning Team Navy had already raised $3K while the other branches were not so flush. Much as I love the Navy, I was thinking the little squids had enough help and I needed to help out the other branches and got waylaid by children. Checking back this evening I see Team Army has caught up, but that the poor little Coasties are hurting....like usual. So, I am rethinking to whom I will donate. As Chuck Z says

Look, you don't have to donate your life savings. Just figure out how much you spend on mini-luxuries for a week. Five trips to starbux is $30. Drink coffee at work instead, and you've sacrificed little, but you can now contribute three percent of a laptop. Think about your weekly luxuries. What can you do without, so that you can give the gift of modern functionality to someone who needs it?

It's important. It's something you can do to give, really give, someone such a great gift this holiday season. While we focus on being thankful for what we have , take a little time to remember what others have recently lost, and know that the only thing stopping them from regaining a piece of what they've lost--is you.

So, guys and dolls if you're feelin' it here are the donation links and the running tally!

On an absolutely FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC note, Books for Soldiers made their fundraising goal and will be around for another year to support those deployed! YAY!

I'm not really a girl

So, a few days ago I went to Michael the Extremely Gay Hairdresser for a new 'do. I was getting bored with the style I had and knew Michael could fix it. In fact, that was my demand, "FIX IT!" In his usual fabulous style he cut my hair and then asked "Are you ready for something damn cute?" Why, but of course! He flipped the ends of my hair up with his amazing flat iron that does things no flat iron should. The effect was not unlike Reba:

Which, really, is great because, face it she's in her 50's and she's hot. The problem as I stated it was, "There is no way I can reproduce this." Michael assured me I could "It's like when you used to feather your hair, but more extreme." Well, sure, but 1979 was a hell of a long time ago.
And frankly, my hair never turned out that well anyway. But my never say die personality kicked in and I have attempted, on several occasions, to style my hair in Michael's spectacular fashion. Unfortunately, the girl gene for style was left out of my DNA and my attempts look more like Nigel Tufnel than Reba.

Veteran's Day

Today is the day we honor those that have served in our nation's military. I'm grateful for all our veterans and our active duty military, but there are a few who mean a little more to me. So, for my Uncle Roy who survived the Bataan Death March, my Uncle Garth who also served in WWII and was on the Bikini Atoll, for my Uncle Rusty who was a member of the very first SEAL teams (and, in his 80s, still attends graduation at Coronado), my Uncles David and Doug who served on the same destroyer at the same time in the Gulf of Tonkin, my Uncle Dennis who just had to be different than his brothers and joined the Air Force (by the way, all three ENLISTED during Vietnam and were not drafted), my cousin Tyler who served four tours in Iraq, my friend and doctor Bill who remains in the Reserves and heads to Iraq (or maybe somewhere else by that time)in July, my cousin Jeremy who could be a vet by this time but chose to continue to be active duty, and SHSO'C who will join the ranks of veterans in a few short months:

Happy Veteran's Day

I may overload you with videos today, but I love these. This one specifically talks about the women in the military, and the pictures of the (nurses?) women in WWII (or Korea now that I think of it) are great, not to mention the picture of the obvious nurse (with the cap I'm going with Vietnam)

Powerful images, fabulous choir, and religious or not, it may be hard not to be moved by "as He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free" with that amazing crescendo.

This is a long one, but worth it if you have the time. "Adagio for Strings" is beautiful music and I think extremely appropriate for a tribute. But that's just me.

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programing of inane babbling after the break. Hug a vet people! But ask first so you don't get hit with a pesky sexual harassment suit or a restraining order. I plan to...well, the hugging, not the sexual harassment suit or the other thing.

06 November 2008


From time to time I get items in my mailbox that make me wonder about the mental stability of the world. Or my own. This weeks was one of those times. In fact, I got three pieces of mail on the same day that made me think, WTF? The first was this:
I realize it is overexposed, but bear with me here. That seal is the AARP seal. Yes, folks, the American Association of Retired Persons sent me a membership flyer. Now, disregard the fact that there is no way I will retire in this lifetime, because I will have to work until the day I die. They will have to cart me off the floor and pry whatever medical instrument I may be holding at the time from my cold, dead hands. I will never have the opportunity to be a retired person, but that is not the point. The point is this: I am 41 years old! Why the hell am I getting membership requests from an organization to which my PARENTS belong? My RETIRED parents. I don't dread getting older, I didn't "stop" having birthdays at 39, I enjoy being the age I am. But come ON! Cut me a little slack.

The next interesting piece of mail was this:

Okay, this one is underexposed, sue me. But the letterhead is from Regence, the company from which I receive my incredibly sucky insurance courtesy of Multiscare. The gist of this correspondence is that Regence loves me and wants to make sure I'm satisfied with their services and could I please take an independent survey about how great they are? ($3000 yearly deductible? $6000 out of pocket maximum? Yeah, you rock.) My favorite part of the letter is this sentence:
We have enclosed a small cash incentive in appreciation of your participation in this important study
How small? This small:

(Don't ask me why it's oriented this way, this is not the way I took the picture. But I'm too freaking lazy and/or tired to correct it, so you'll have to adjust.) What is this worth now; 13 cents? Not to mention that after January, these yahoos aren't even going to be my insurance carriers. So, I'm gonna have to pass. But I will keep the buck so I can buy a piece of gum. Thanks.

My last piece of mail was a magazine called Uncommon Goods. I buy most of my Christmas presents from quirky little magazines and every year around this time, I seem to receive more. This one in particular is a little crunchy with most of the products being the "love your mother earth/made of recycled whatever" variety. No big, it's nice stuff and my SIL happens to be a little crunchy herself. Some may regard me as crunchy, but that's probably because I'm nuts. But I digress. I'm flipping through the pages and come across these little gems: The Global Warming mug and the Disappearing Civil Liberties/Bill of Rights.

As you can see, the mug on the left is our little planet and as you can't see, the mug on the right is the Bill of Rights. (heh. I didn't even plan that) When you add your favorite hot beverage to these mugs, the polar ice caps melt, the water level raises and the majority of the Bill of Rights disappear. Classy. Buy these as heartwarming gifts to celebrate the joy of the season!