Bzzzzzzzzz

The birthday bash went off without a hitch. Mass quantities of food were consumed, much laughter was had, and the 20-something texters in the front row got OWNED. I received many fine presents including the requitsite vibrator for the 41 year old who has nothing. What most intrigues me about this vibe masquerading as a lipstick in a lurid shade of magenta, are the comments on the back of the packaging. Well, that and the fact that Duane was shanghaied by his wife into driving to Hustler and buying it. A story for another day. Comment number one: "Enjoy a long lasting pleaseure in a sexy shade of magenta." I didn't know that pleasure actually had color. Does this mean I will see flashes of magenta colored light when experiencing the aforementioned pleasure? Or perhaps I will be suffused in a magenta glow at the pinnacle? It bears contemplating. Comment number two reads as follows: "Discreet design fits nicely in your makeup bag." I hope to never be in such dire straits that I need to avail myself of a little stress relief while applying my daily makeup. I mean, I'm all for a girl taking control of her sexuality, but let's have a little self control!