Last Thursday was parent teacher conferences and, after last year, I was concerned that SoS's conference would just be a giant, how do I say, BITCH-FEST about my kid. I had myself so spun up running scenarios and counters to supposed criticism that I snapped the toilet brush handle while cleaning. I was DREADING this conference and was prepared to either shift him into another classroom or turf him out to my friend in BFE who home schools her three boys (that she had in less than 3 years..go Big Navy! And stay out at sea so she can get a break from being knocked up! I guess that's what the tubal is for. :D ) I dressed in an outfit quite unlike my usual hang around the house jeans and oversized t-shirt. I had on cords, a fitted shirt, jewelry, heels, and all the makeup I could fit on my face. This, for anyone who knows me well, is full battle rattle. I might has well have been wearing an IBA. Every time I looked at the dog he rolled straight to his back and put all four feet in the air. I took this to mean I had achieved the look I was shooting for.

I roll up to the school 15 minutes early and spent the next 10 trying to cleanse my aura, enhance my calm and basically not fly in there and rip the balls off the first person I saw. Which, had that been a woman, would have been difficult to be sure. I walk to SoS's classroom and pace back in forth until it is my turn. When I go in I frostily say hello, sit down with meaning, and geared up for the riot. It was completely anti-climactic because his teacher actually likes my kid! I about went all Sally Fields on her; "you like him! You really like him!" Good grief, what a relief to have someone know your kid is a challenge and like him anyway. The only problem I really had was with the reading specialist who showed me his test results where he couldn't segment or blend words. I informed her that we do Hooked on Phonics at home and that the night before he used letter cards, segmenting and blending to spell the words I told him. She said, "Well, we did the testing in the beginning of November, so things may have changed." Ummm, that was 19 days ago. But, whatever. SoS's conference was a full 30 minutes. FB has a male teacher and he looped from 4th grade. His conference might have been 10 minutes if I count the time for his teacher to move to the back of the room and find the report card. "Yeah, he's doing fine. Working on his spelling." *crickets* I guess I'll go then.