Carlos!

Last night was a near orgasmic experience, a night I have been waiting for since May when we first heard that Carlos was coming to Seattle and waited like heroin addicts at the methadone clinic to snap up some tickets the second they went on sale. And we were not disappointed. The only down side to the whole experience was since I purchased these tickets in May and immediately stuck them in the fireproof safe (and hadn't looked at them since), I had forgotten exactly how many tickets I actually had. I thought I had only purchased one extra in case, by some extreme chance, SHSO'C and I actually decided to spend some time together, he might want to go. As it happened, he was needed in NYC for a wedding. And at the last minute the friend who was going to take the ticket was called away on a family emergency. Oh, well, it's just one ticket. Except that on the way to pick up the girls, I counted not one, not two, but three (3) extra tickets. I am a complete water head. It was at this point that I remembered I bought 3 extra in case a) SHSO'C and I did hit it off and he wanted to go and maybe bring a friend b) we hit it off briefly and then nothing else happened but he was already coming and needed a friend as a buffer c) I can't exactly remember c, but I'm sure I had a damn good reason. Because I am never illogical or irrational. Ask anyone. Although I am, on occasion, hysterical.

We got a little souvenir from Carlos:

25 dolla for what amounts to a Polaroid in a card frame. Not that I'm complaining, because really, how often is this going to happen? It's like going on vacation to Disneyworld. Celluloid memories don't come cheap, but you're so hopped up on endorphins you don't realize you've hemorrhaged money all week until you get home. Totally worth it.

Carlos was extremely funny, as were his opening acts. You really can't image the sight of a 110 lb dwarf pantomiming having sex with a 310 lb woman. "I looked like one of those yard art ducks with the wings that spin in the wind." I laughed so hard my face was sore. I think the reason Carlos Mencia appeals to so many is because he gives no one a break. He believes that there is hope for us, we aren't as bad as the rest of the world and a lot of Americans think we are, and everyone gets ripped on, crackers or not.

Reasons Carlos rocks out loud:

"No, not everyone should register to vote. Because when stupid people vote we get stupid people in office."

"The economy is horrible, we have a war in Afghanistan, a war in Iraq, political parties slinging mud about one another....a president getting a blow job doesn't sound so band now, does it?"

"I was told not to come on tour because the economy was so bad and I said "why wouldn't I go out and make people laugh when they need a reason to laugh more than ever?'"

"You know how I know that America isn't racist? Because we a have a document that says not all white men, not all black men, not all yellow, brown or what ever, but all MEN are created equal and that means MANKIND, not just men."

"See, all you smart people got the joke and laughed, all the stupid people should have been swallowed at conception."

Carlos kept us entertained and laughing nonstop for 2 1/2 hours. That does not count the opening acts or the round table jokes at the end. And that may be the greatest reason Carlos rocks.

Here is a Carlos skit from about 2001. NSFW probably and defintely not for the easily o-ffended!