06 October 2008

Weekend Update

What a joyously full weekend! And glad is the heart that got to enjoy it in such typical, lovely Northwest weather. Our Saturday started as it usually does in full Tae Kwon Do regalia. We showed up to SoS's class 20 minutes late, which was distressing only to us. Master L. I'm sure was nearly comatose with joy not having a force of nature in class for once. During the class Master had SoS firmly by both shoulders after making him do push-ups and queried "Are we having fun yet?" To which SoS roundly responded "NO!" Honest to a fault. All the adults then chorused "No, SIR." After sparring we went home and met up with the Super Hot Slice O' Cuteness. We all trekked out to the fairgrounds to enjoy Oktoberfest. Being of extremely watered down, semi-Germanic, mixed with mutt heritage and the boys being only 3rd generation Bavarian/German Americans on their father's side, we were happy to enjoy some Oktoberfestivities. We enjoyed some brats and 'kraut, fondue, root beer and SHSO'C got to have some fabulous German beer. We also enjoyed polka music including "The Beer Barrel Polka" and the "Too Fat Polka" made infamous in my family by my great grandfather singing it to my mother every time he saw her. (Body image disturbance? I don't know where she would have gotten that from.) There were also some interesting drinking games involving nails, quarter rounds, and the backside of a hammer. As an extra bonus the Scandinavian Days was going on at the same time AT THE SAME PLACE! I nearly wet myself with excitement in anticipation of Finnish delights. I ran through the hall, dragging the boys, sounding like some NYC derelict muttering, "Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, Norwegian, Swedish, what is this the everything but Finland festival?" Finally, nirvana is reached! I picked up some of my favorite chocolates and my most adored candy from hell.

Ah, Turkish Peppers... glad is my heart. These little gems taste like salty black licorice with a dash of battery acid. They are filled with a powdered form of the salty black licorice/battery acid concoction. Definitely an acquired taste. The graphic in the bottom corner accurately represents my reaction to my first Turkinpippuri. My dear friends who introduced me to these wonders encouraged me to chew them. That is akin attaching jumper cables to your tongue and turning the key while someone pours a conducting agent into your mouth. Invigorating. I told the boys they were not allowed to have these candies as they would not enjoy them. I cautioned SHSO'C against trying them, even going to far as to state "they are the absolute worst thing you will ever try." Being the brave man he is, he popped one in his mouth. His stoic reaction was to tell SoS and FB "Yeah, you guys wouldn't like these." We then went back to Oktoberfest and SHSO'C went in search of more beer. I'm sure it was to wash away the nightmare after effects. (SHSO'C is quite the fingerful to type. Perhaps I should shorten his alias. To say, Cougar Bait....)

SHSO'C and I then went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, which was a cute little flick that reminded me of some of my drunkard babysitting days. I love movies with smart asses. Which is why I'm looking forward to seeing Sexdrive. Not only does it have James Mardsen (yum) who can be freakin' hilarious

but it also has Seth Green as a smart ass Amish.
Comic genius that boy! Family Guy, Robot Chicken, his portrayal of a disgusted and frustrated Scott Evil...not to mention his Chris Crocker spoof.

Sunday found me actually making an effort at responsible home ownership. I figured now that it was October it was time to put the Slip 'N' Slide away. But first I had to de-poo the lawn. This was quite the project and brought home to me that perhaps I should not have left it quite so long, or I should have put my indentured servants..er...children to work. I then pulled the Slip 'N' Slide off the big toy, where it resides to be safe from Knucklehead McSpazatron from chewing it into confetti, and was promptly stung by the last living hornet/wasp/whatever the hell in the Northwest. I stood there, trying to maintain my composure as my favorite word bounced around my head like a game of Brickbreaker, glorying in the fact that at least that little rat bastard would now die faster! Cruel I know, but damn, that hurt. I was saved from weeding by a return the torrential downpour, so I retired inside and curled up with a cheesy '80s movie from Netflix on my laptop.

My insomnia being what it is, coupled with the fact that I had to keep a fish eye on my dishwasher to make sure it wasn't trying to go tits up on me, found me in bed at my usual late hour. I had found my mouth guard again, so I was sleeping fairly well, chewing on that instead of my tongue or the inside of my mouth. My eyes popped open at 0230 to the sight of FB standing at the bedside. His modus operandi when trying to wake me up is not to say my name or touch my shoulder, but to shake and jiggle the mattress until I wake up. This pisses me off for no known reason. So my reaction is to screech "What?!?' like a demented fishwife trying to sell her wares to the deaf. Poor FB says "My ear hurts." Change of weather plays havoc with his allergies and has a tendency to plug his eustachian tubes. I keep a handy supply of Auralgan for just such occasions. I fill his ear canal with lidocaine goodness and tuck him into bed. This morning I dope him up with more Auralgan, ibuprofen and some Claritin to try and open things up. I made it through work without a phone call from the school which had me pleasantly surprised as FB has more of his father's wimpy constitution, (prone to howling over every hurt real or imagined) rather than my more stoic one. (Hey! Natural childbirth dammit! And getting back into a saddle on a broken ankle, thereby dislocating it to a mere breadth of a compound fracture!) When I picked him up from daycare he was a little peaked looking and acting kind of punk. We got home and he said his ear still hurt. I put more Auralgan in and then decided, critical thinking in action here, that maybe I should look at his ear as he has a history of perforating his eardrum. (While I was at ACLS, thankyouverymuch!) I use my little otoscope and da-yum! We should probably take a trip to Urgent Care. When the doc in the box says "Oh, yeah, that's a good one!" you know that sucker is bad. I told the doc, who was the same one from our visit in May with the perfed eardrum, about the Motrin and Auralgan and he said, "Well, you have the pain control portion covered, we just need the antibiotics." Dude, did you forget I'm a nurse? Better living through pharmacology. And if those didn't work I could always let him nibble on a Perc or a Vike I have left over from my surgery.......I kid.

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