I broke my retainer off one side of my lower jaw after eating an M&M. Mrs. Hardy contends it is a karmic smackdown for daring to ingest the demon sugar. I am leaning more toward stress failure of the 25 year old cement that has bonded the retainer to my teeth, lo these many years. I then had to manipulate this sharp wire back and forth until the other side gave way, so as to not injure myself in a bizarre salad accident. Do you have any idea how strange it is to feel the back of your teeth for the first time since you were 17? Not to mention the globs of sharp, jaggedly broken cement on the aforementioned teeth. My bedroom TV is also crapping out on me and my wallet is on the verge of giving up the ghost. Not to mention, the dog spewed about 9 pounds of semi digested food on the Berber carpet. Perhaps it's time I sacrifice a goat or something. I mean, what is the deal?!? On a good note, I have not an inkling of swine flu although I tempted fate by wearing my pig socks to work today.