10 February 2010

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and my kids needed shoe boxes for their Valentine's mailboxes and, since I didn't have any, I was forced to go buy not one, but two pairs of shoes. The horror! But, I must make these sacrifices as a parent. It is the cross I bear.

I bought a handy dandy program in the hope that I will be able to un-fuck my laptop. Two hours later....meh. It is a trifle better, but now my bluetooth doesn't recognized my mouse. Most awesome. I hate technology.

I've always said I didn't turn into a girl until I was 40 and now I think the metamorphosis is accelerating. Not only am I getting teary over tender moments on Phineas and Ferb but I have found I can shower, slap a ball cap over my wet hair and motor out the door, but not before I tint my eyebrows and put on eyeliner and mascara. What. The. Hell. I firmly subscribe to to the theory of "Everything will be fine; just put on some lipstick." I figure by the time I'm 60 I'm going to be like Donna Reed or June Billingsley, vacuuming in my pearls and taffeta cocktail dress at 2 in the afternoon, wondering whatever will I feed Wally and the Beav for a snack after they get home from school? While my unfulfilled potential will be a simmering stew of resentment only restricted from spewing forth in a toxic waste flow by virtue of some serious pharmaceuticals. Not unlike this MST gem:

"Mother and Daughter put the final touches on the dinner...with Strychnine!"


  1. Horrified to admit...been there, done that, saw the movie and bought the lunch box. Never could quite live up to Donna and June; hence the pharmaceuticals. Love your chutzpah! Keep it up.

  2. I did the same thing...."buy one, get 1/2 off the second" at Payless. It's aweful...Ellori was moping for a full hour because she couldn't get the white heels she wanted. The gal at the counter told her that she should wait, like her mother said, because the prices will drop closer to Easter, and then she'd be able to get a matching handbag!! What the....She's 4!!!!


Okay, GO!