The anesthesiologist was asking me why a patient who got admitted with platlets of 48 was not delivered surgically, but instead was being induced. I replied, "Got me. But she's in labor now." Co-worker explained that the patient was told we wanted to avoid surgery because she was at risk of bleeding. My response was "Well, no shit. She's at risk for bleeding just by blinking." Once again, the filters are down and the maintenance crew are on a cigarette break.

Why are my children dropping teeth faster than meth addicts? SoS came back from school with one of those tooth shaped necklaces they give when kids lose a tooth at school. SoS likes the thought of cash in hand, so if he has an inkling that a tooth is loose, he works that thing until it pops out. We have a "tooth box", a little tooth shaped ceramic box that holds the tooth until the tooth fairy comes and exchanges it for cold, hard cabbage! I told SoS to go put his tooth in the box, which he did, and then told me that there was a tooth in there already for some reason. Oops. Forgot about the last time FB lost a tooth. Screw it, he's too old to believe in the tooth fairy anyway. I assured SoS it would be fine, the tooth fairly would take care of it....and then I promptly forgot about it. Until the next morning when I woke him up, he popped out of bed and said, "My tooth! I have to see if the Tooth Fairy got it from my pillow!" He reached under his pillow and was crushed to find his tooth still there. "She forgot!" I told him that she couldn't find it because she knows that we have tooth box and that is where all our teeth go. I convinced him to go put his tooth in the box, go get ready for school and maybe she would have time to change it before he had to leave. Then I scrambled like Bret Favre looking for a dollar's worth of change. Ten dimes in the tooth box later and all was right with the world.