25 September 2009

On Thursday I took FB to the dentist to get a filling and to pull the tooth with a hole in it the size of the Crater Lake caldera. This is what happens when your mother SUCKS and can't get you in to the dentist in a expeditious manner. At least it was a baby tooth; if it were a permanent tooth we would probably be looking at a root canal. So, what did we do to celebrate? I took the kids to the fair for a sugar filled fun ride!  First I had to dodge the inquisitional squad at the school.

Me:  "Hi, this is FB and SoS's mom; they are going to be out for the whole day today."

School Nazi:  "Oh, okay.  Are they both sick?"

Me:  "Nope."

School Nazi:  *crickets*  "So, they're not sick?"

Me:  "Nope."  *click*  HA!  I don't have to tell you why they're out..they're MY kids you COW!

*ahem*  Back to our regularly scheduled program.  We drove to the fairgrounds, sneaking through the back way to avoid the one way street at the front entrance and the arbitrarily closed streets that are guarenteed to make you pull out your hair before you even hit the gates.  Then I laid down 10 bucks to park.  Okay.  THAT went up.  Next year we are taking the bus.  Entrance fee: $25 with a twofer ticket given to us by a nice senior couple at the gate and then $35 for lunch.  So, down $70 bucks and we haven't even done anything yet.  w00t!  However, the lunch tab is well worth it cuz it was time for a Meyer's burger!  Only two kinds of food can you eat at the fair Meyer's burgers or Longhorn BBQ, and since we ate the BBQ at the Spring Fair, it was time for the burger!

I realize it doesn't look like much....and to tell the truth it isn't. But it's an overpriced FAIRBURGER!!! How can you resist?? FB and SoS certainly couldn't.

Hamburger patty, cheese slice, grilled onions=heaven.

We then went to the ride ticket kiosk and bought the world famous Dizzy Pass! So named because you ride all the rides you want, all the times you want until you are dizzy and hungover. Which was pricey, but well worth the price since 15 ride tickets cost 20 bucks and all the rides they wanted to ride were 5-6 tickets each. Yikes. Now, in my youth, I would have KILLED for such a thing as a Dizzy Pass, back when I could ride all those spinny, twisty, droppy rides. Now my equilibrium is screwed up and I'm puking after the first one. Give me rollercoasters and I can ride those all day long. Or even rides like Disney's Tower of Terror; no sweat! Just don't spin me in circles like you're trying to centrifuge my hematocrit and I'll be happy.

This year the fair also had this:

I know it's hard to tell, but that would be a giant sized, inflatable Weird Al Yankovic.  There was an exhibit about brains featuring Weird Al's brain where he had a fantastic song about dendrites, synaptic gaps, and differing lobes of the brain.  We also learned the reason that zombies like brains so much, is because it may taste like chicken!  Awesome!

While the kids made themselves silly(er) on rides, I engaged in my favorite pastime of people watching and snarky self reflection of the examples I see.  I saw an awesome rat tail on a nearly bald man, a kid with an 'fro-hawk, a couple in matching circa 1970 football coach short-shorts, but sadly, no left jug tats.  Which is surprising, considering the plethora of which were on display last year.  I did overhear this coversation which was fantastic

Anonymous Fair Worker #1 :  "Well, it is a good way to spend...."
Anonymouse Fair Worker#2  "Unemployment?"

Hee.  I have no idea if they were speaking of the cross-section of humanity they had seen in the last 2 weeks, but after dealing with my client base the last 10 years, I'm gonna go with yes.

All good things must come to an end, and I can only handle 4 hours of walking through crowds of people and being freaked out by carnies.  But no fair experience is complete with out the coup de grace:  the Elephant Ear!

Hot, deep fried honey dough, spread with a butter-like substance and liberally covered with cinnamon and sugar.  Holy crap!  Most awesome.  It took the three of about 3 seconds to reduce this to a grease stained paper towel with a smattering of crystalline goodness.


  1. ahhh, the fair! I miss hangin with the carnies. lol

    Good times mom, and I love that you didnt cave in and make some shit up to tell the attendance nazi at school.

  2. I think Al's Brain is educational enough all by itself to justify a day out of school. Especially if your kids go home singing, "Your brain is divided into two hemispheres..."


  3. 'Twas a catchy piece of music as well. I hope it comes out on DVD; especially with the "PSA" short...your brain allows you to do tasks; like spanking bunnies. Ha!


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