Dr. Good drugs (full of himself version): "I need an alcohol swab."
Me: "Here, I have one." As I pull a swab from my left breast (repeat BREAST) pocket and hand it to him.
Dr. Gd(fohv): "Well, if I knew where they were kept, I could have gotten it myself."
Did I mention married a-hole? How'd ya like a size 6 springy shoe up yer arse?