I've been home several days and find myself still on island time. Basically, I can't see the need to move more than I absolutely have to during the day, although I am distressed about the lack of servers to bring me food and drink whenever the whim strikes me. I think I left off detailing our trip on Saturday. The last day of the conference. The day they handed out the continuing education certificates at the morning break. Guess what time we left? C'mon! We had plans. And most of the day was case studies anyway and, while interesting, not really necessary. Besides, we had the big ass binder they gave us with screen shots of every powerpoint slide from every lecture. We were covered. Our plan for the day was to visit the Tortuga Rum Factory (yay! see how rum cakes are made! Pick up some rum for Mr. Hardy as he is miles under the water suffering from less than optimal oxygenation and bad smells!) First we thought we should run back out to Hell to see if we could pick up any kitschy items that we felt was imperative to have. Arrived in Hell and found out that they are no longer open on Saturdays, "sorry if this is inconvenient" Hell yes, it's inconvenient! But not nearly as inconvenient as trying to find the Rum Factory. Let me elaborate on the Cayman Island method of driving. Otherwise known as clusterfuck driving. There are many round abouts on the island. These are mostly faded white 3 foot diameter circles painted on the ground. Let me reiterate: faded and painted on the ground. Challenging. We've already gone over the whole roads that turn into different roads that arent on the map that turn into road that you need to be on, but there is also the complete lack of road signs; either those telling you what road you are on or those stating what road comes off the roundabout. After about and hour of driving, which included getting lost in some residential area (whose roads are not on the map so you can't figure out where you are to get where you are going! And before you ask, we had three different maps from three different establishments and they were all like this! The locals look at you like you are insane when you want a map in the first place) we finally arrived at the rum factory. We found out the "tour" of the rum factory was actually just looking through a bit window into the bakery (way too hot for that crap) and the duty free rum is only duty free if you are on a cruise ship. They don't ship (even though the website says they do) and after many minutes we figured out we'd have to buy the rum in the airport. Whatever. By this time there were two hot, hungry and cranky nurses. Not a good combo. But we did get a picture:
Woot! We ate in a restaurant that had a stripper pole and and a "Naughty School Girls Happy Hour" Women in costume drank free. Too bad Mrs. H left her costume at home! We then went and spent no less than 4 hours broiling on the beach being appalled by couples coupling in the sea (I shit you not) and fearing that we would be called upon to resuscitate The Corpse if his freaking heart gave out. (The corpse was a 400 pound member of our conference with a hot wife [for him anyway] who went for a walk down the road in the 90 degree heat as we took off for the Rum Factory. We felt sure we would see his bloated corpse on the way home. Nope, there he was in snorkel gear, floating like a giant sea creature). Dinner that night was a fancy affair at Casa Havana, touted as an "atmosphere of pre-Castro Cuba." If that is true, bring on the pre-Castro Cuba! A little slice of heaven. We had teriyaki duck with tempura risotto. I think I could live on that for evah!