Redneck Heaven

This weekend we indulged our redneck roots (well, my redneck roots and the kids redneck ancestry) by attending the Spring Fair. Now, what made this redneck was not corn on a stick, barbeque, or pig races. These are all found at the regular fair. Not even the kiddie ride packed with kids tipping over mid-ride made it redneck. Although that helped. "We don't need no stinkin' redundant safety systems!" What made my little redneck heart go pitter patter like a squirrel with paroxysmal atrial tachycardia (sorry, ACLS season) was SLAMFEST 2009 Demolition Derby, baby! Woot!

We went with my dear friend and her family, her brother and a son of another dear friend. So basically Rena and I were swimming in a sea of testosterone with 2 men and 6, count 'em 6 boys ranging in age from 10 to 5. Captain Chaos!

They look like they were prepared to have fun, although I'm missing a kid here...I believe he was sandwiched between a bro and Dad. You wouldn't really think there would be a big draw for this kind of thing here in ultra liberal land, amazingly the grandstand was packed.

i spent a great deal of time staring at the kid in front of us and doing my impersonation of Austin Powers "Moley, moley, moley, moley!" Come on now! We have some damn fine technology these days, remove that sucker. Or at least I could give him a quarter and he could go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off his face. (Anyone? Anyone at all get that quote?) I found out that not only Monster Truck races have an inordinate amount of infants and hugely pregnant women attending. There are easier ways to get yourself into labor, ladies!

Top Shelf from KISW was there judging the best looking (WTF? these are demo cars!) vehicles.

They announced he was signing autographs and I got myself in a twitter (no, I don't tweet!) and frantically started looking for autograph worthy items for him to sign. I turned to Rena and said, "What have I got that he can sign?" and we both automatically looked at my chest. "Um, no." Her brother shook his head and when I informed him he had missed us being together so horribly as to be like unto a day without sun, he had no recourse but to agree. Besides, we'll hurt him if he doesn't. By the time we had a Cow Chip Cookies box for Toppy to sign he had disappeared. More than likely slunk into the beer garden. We also saw this guy who was into '80s retro rat tail.

Too bad SHSo'C is gone; he would have loved it. But, back to the demolition derby...

It was fabulous! What could be better that a large rodent with a checkered flag

a rollover contest

engine fires

Hipsters and really bad Hawaiian shirts

and let's not forget, lots and lots of car crashes. For some reason, this was my favorite car:

All in all a good time was had. Even the Senior Chief smiled

I think it's because he's imagining those poopies he works with in some of those cars!