08 July 2009

The Last Week

The week in a nutshell:

Tuesday: Doctor's appointment where he told me no more caffeine after 12 noon (I tried to set him ablaze with my eyes), I needed a sleep study (wired for messages from deep space, no fan, being watched while I sleep, why don't you just assign a stranger to stand next to the bed and try to randomly touch me so I can be world class uncomfortable?) and prescribed a medication to help me sleep that put me into a coma for 9 hours and turned me into double plus undead bitch from hell for the first 6 days.

Wednesday: Went to the Drive-In (yes we still have several here; this one active since 1948), got the kiddos settled and watched Transformers 2 (a little disappointing, to tell the truth), contemplated starting the car halfway through(naaaaahhhhhhh!), and suffered a dead battery. My choice for a jump on the left were the people with the Kitsap county body work on their fender (read: duct tape) yelling profanities at their children because someone "put the fucking carseat in the goddamn trunk! Why don't you move your ass?" Charming. Let's look to the right: sweet lady willing to give me a jump if I have cables (I do). I spent some time jumping my battery, not because I don't know how (I've had to employ jumper cables more times than I care to count) but because the only light I had was a hand crank LED light given to me by Multiscare for Nurse's Week one year, that the sweet Good Samaritan couldn't figure out how to crank and then had to be asked EVERY TIME to hold it so I could see where the battery was. (Remember, the planet killer requires me to use a step ladder to wash the hood....this was a challenge for me.)

Thursday: Got up late, took the dog to the kennel, finally decided to pack, went to the store for sustenance, and headed off to the wilds of Idaho. 8 hours in the car and still 2 hours away from my destination (missed the cutoff road in Oregon cuz I was a yellin' at the offspring. See above: double plus undead bitch from hell) stopped at our usual motel (rooms to be had: Yay!) and headed to the store (forgot toothbrushes and needed chocolate: Boo!)

Friday: Loaded everyone in the car and finished the drive to McCall. Most of the family on the golf course, couldn't officially check into the yurt(in a University of Idaho science camp where no alcohol was allowed outside of the sleeping areas...who decided this was a good place for my family? And University alcohol rules? what university did you go to? In North Carolina there are bars ON CAMPUS!) until 3, so dumped our stuff in the yurt anyway and dressed for some swimming. Here is where I found out that this lake that I used to swim in all summer long, is still as cold as it ever was (had ice until last month) but that I am no longer young enough to be unaffected by it. DAY-UM it was COLD! Stood that crap as long as I could before hauling screaming kids (they didn't mind the cold) back to the yurtage to get dressed and head over to the gathering place to meet my crazy ass family.
Slept in a camp bed that was so uncomfortable I literally had a a dream where I was being crushed by a dump truck.

Saturday: spent realizing how nuts my family truly is, eating, and being appalled by my cousin's wife's tramp stamp/thong on constant display. Watched the kids play water slide baseball (extremely awesome), went back to the lake to freeze my bahooky off, ate some more, and watched the city fireworks. (No fireworks allowed in the park...again who decided on this place for my alcohol swilling, pyromaniac family?) Back to the torture rack for another night of horror.

Sunday: Load everything back up in the Planet Killer, eat AGAIN, say my toodles and never got below 80 on my way home. Cops, schmops, I was looking to avoid the mass of traffic I knew was in my future on Hwy 18 and I5. Actually wasn't bad except for the mass of humanity that wouldn't get out of the passing lane. I started looking like I was skiing the Giant Slalom on the way down the pass. Tahoes really aren't made to slipstream.

Monday: picked up the dog and did laundry. And laundry. Did I mention laundry? My life rocks.

Tuesday: the sleep study. Which was about as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Nineteen electrodes on my head, six on my face,two on my neck, two on each leg, two for EKG, a nasal cannula (without any supplemental O2 but with a monitor for airflow), and a pulse oximiter, all with accompanying wires. Okay, get comfy now and pleasant dreams.

Here I sit on Wednesday, last day of vacation before going back to work, blogging my little heart out with no concern at all for the amount of crap that could/should be done around here.

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