Sos cracked me up today. First, he came home from school talking about Columbus. He started singing this song (to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb):
Columbus sailed the ocean blue,
Ocean blue,
Ocean blue,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue,
In Fourteen Hundred Ninety-Two.
He also listed off the ships Columbus used: "the Nina, the Santa Maria and the Pinto."  Yeah?  Does the Pinto explode if you run into it from behind?
He then told me that FB didn't start out smart, but that he had to get his dendrites coated. I can only assume he's talking about a myelin sheath.

Once again feeling restless and bored, which is dangerous because it usually leads to me putting things on or in my skin.

I had a great pair of Z-Coil shoes for work (yes, I know they make me look special needs), and they were wonderful for relieving my back and leg pain.  Unfortunately, I was constantly catching my coils in the cables on the epidural cart, not to mention, after 3 years hard work, they were starting to look a bit dodgy.  Worn, splatters of miscellaneous bodily fluids, the base of the coils breaking off and flapping in the wind, you know.  I had seen these shoes called Masai walking shoes that simulate walking on soft ground/sand.  They purport to relieve back pain, straighten your posture, MIRACLE CURE!!  They were also muy expensive and I'm basically a cheap bastard, so I didn't want to cough up the dough.  This is the same theory I used for not wanting to buy a $500  Dyson, cuz I wasn't payin' that much for a vacuum.  And then I bought a $1500 Kirby instead.  I know.  Anyway, Sketchers now has a shoe that is basically the same as the Masai walker...although these claim to help you lose weight, tone up....whatever.  When I bought my new shoes (which so far, have worked out fine) the chickiepoo behind the counter told me she loved hers; they tone your butt and make your legs look great.  Now, this girl was probably pushing 300 pounds, and I know I sound like a bitch, but if she's noticed a difference in the muscle tone of her butt, these are major miracle shoes.  They she tells me to make sure to watch the DVD.  (Yes, they come with a how-to DVD ) My thought was, "Ya know, I've been walking for awhile now; I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

Next day off....encore viewing of ZOMBIELAND!!!